Unrequited Love and Peanut Butter
by EvilGeniusBookWorm13
Summary: Alternate ending for Big Time Break Up! "Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love." SLASH in the form of Kames! Rated T for swears and self harm.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**** I really need to stop getting ideas for stories…Hahaha I already have like 4 ongoing ones already! I don't need a fifth! Too bad this is going to be a fifth. And a sixth will probably soon come out. (Maybe when I'm done with Save Me and The ABC's of Kames…) Anyway. This is an alternate ending to Big Time Break Up. IDK why I decided to come out with it now…I had originally wanted to wait until it actually came out! But I couldn't hold it in…Is anyone else thinking this sounds kinda perverted? XD Anyway. I'm trying this style of writing. Hope it's ok! READ! **

Chapter 1: James POV.

_The funny thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken and we wouldn't even know it._

It's amazing how insightful people are.

How true and deep their quotes can get.

And it's even more amazing how I can understand the deeper, most hurt ones.

It was seven pm when we got home.

Jo had left an hour ago.

They had broken up an hour ago. And by they, I mean Jo and Kendall.

To say Kendall was heartbroken, was devastated, was depressed, would be a total understatement. Like, yeah.

I had tried everything to cheer him up. Talked about the new hockey game coming up. The new album. The new song. Anything to cheer him up. I even let Carlos on him, and Carlos can cheer up any living and nonliving thing. It didn't work.

Kendall retreated to his room shortly after.

What was I to do? Sit there and let my friend get that upset over a freaking _girl_?

No.

What did I do? Sit there and let my friend get that upset over a freaking girl.

I wasn't not too happy with myself either. And that's saying a lot, considering I love myself.

You wouldn't think so, considering my parents divorced when I was thirteen. It wasn't a good divorce either. Took a whole year to get the papers signed. You see, my dad had abused me for three years until my mom found out. That very day, she called the cops and got the divorce papers out. Ever since, my mom had…treated me differently. With more care and love, I guess. She taught me how to love myself.

What was I supposed to do? I freaking loved Ken-!

I shouldn't have said that.

Too late now. You already know.

I loved Kendall. With all my being, I might add.

I can't help it. He gave up his dreams for mine. Who wouldn't fall in love with him? And, his personality…and his looks (an added bonus)…and the fact that he's always there for me. I just need to be there for him.

I got up off my lazy butt and walked into our room.

No matter how much it hurt me, comforting him about Jo, I needed to be there for him.

Because I loved him.

Even if he didn't love me back.

He only did in my dreams.

Did you know that I don't like to waste love?

You do now.

I don't love the girls I date. I like them, or lust them (as Logan would say). I don't love them.

I don't really believe in love. Well, I didn't until I met Kendall.

Not once have I ever told anybody I loved them.

Ask Logan, Carlos, Mrs. Knight, Katie, my mom, or Kendall.

Not once.

They just know.

Actions speak louder than words.

And yet, they still tell me they love me, because they're my family, even if I just smile and nod my head, giving no reply.

He was lying on the bed, head in his hands and curled into a ball, sobbing.

I murmured one word. "Kendall."

He froze. He never cried in front of us. He didn't want to start now.

"Yes?" He tried to sound ok. His voice quivered. Quite audibly.

"Stop trying to be the fucking leader all the time and cry once in a while. It's not good to hold it in." I didn't know where that came from.

Kendall turned around, tears streaking down his face. "Just like you do?"

That hurt. A lot.

I sat on his bed and pulled him close to me. Why bother replying when I know it's the truth?

He snuggled into my side as we lied down. He hugged me around my torso, sobbing into my shoulder about Jo. I only put my arm around his shaking shoulders, giving him the comfort he needed.

"She…she br-broke up with me. Long d-distance relationships n-never w-w-work."

I only nodded. It was kinda true. The only exception was true love. What they had wasn't true love.

Soon enough, his sobs ceased. His breaths evened out and his clutch on me loosened. I didn't move. Instead, I pulled him closer.

If I can't have him, then I'm taking what I can get.

It was nine am when I woke up.

Kendall was still sleeping.

I softly removed his arms and got up, leaving a note on where I went as if he would care.

I walked into the kitchen and made myself a bagel. Covered in cream cheese. Just how I liked it.

I was eating it when Kendall walked out.

His eyes were rimmed red. His hair was a mess. In general, he looked like shit.

But still beautiful. To me, anyway.

He came over and sat by me, making himself a bowl of cereal.

We ate in silence.

"Where is everybody?" I had just finished my bagel.

I shrugged my shoulders as I cleaned my dish. I looked at the fridge and found a note.

"They're out."

"No freaking dur." Kendall rolled his eyes.

I laughed. "Your mom and Katie are having a girls' day. Carlos and Logan went to the amusement park for the whole day."

"Oh." Kendall looked down.

"Did you know that they've been dating now?"

"What? How long?"

"About a week. We tried telling you…but you were focused on something else."

"Oh." Kendall's eyes screamed hurt and guilt.

I took him by the hand and sat him on the couch. Now was my chance. It was now or never.

I looked away from his eyes. I couldn't look at them when I was about to confess my undying love for him!

"James. What's wrong?"

Why did he have to say my name?

I bit my lip.

"I'm your best friend. You can tell me anything."

Not really. No.

I looked up at him, my eyes watery. "I can't."

It was the first time I'd ever come close to crying in front of my friends.

He looked scared. "Yes, you can."

I raised my voice a little higher. "No! You'll hate me! I can't have you hate me!"

"Why would I-"

"Because you're in love with Jo!"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Every time I see you two together, talking, being a couple and doing couple-y things together-" so maybe I didn't have a way with words… "-I die inside a little bit! And it's amazing how oblivious to everything you are!" I was at my breaking point. Before, I had just a few cracks. Nothing huge. Easy to hide. I was breaking. "I fucking love you! And It kills me to see you fawning over a girl that's probably never going to love you back as you love her!" Oh my God. I said it.

I was sobbing now, standing up, too. Kendall looked shocked, and angry I might add.

He just stared at me. Looking into my eyes and soul. Witnessing how broken I truly was.

"I need to go."

He broke the contact and stood.

"I knew it." He turned around. "Not even brave enough to reply."

Where was this anger coming from?

He punched me. Square in the eye.

"I don't love you the same way, James."

He stormed out and slammed the door.

I just walked to my room. I shared it with Carlos, who was surprisingly a neat freak. Just like me. Too bad I could care less.

I threw myself on the bed and plain out sobbed.

It was 8:50 when the girl Knight's came home.

They found me in the bathroom, passed out, with a bloody fist and my now black eye.

I had punched the mirror 20 minutes prior. It had felt good.

The pain had felt good.

It made the other pain go away.

They had to wake me up and bandage my hand.

I avoided their eyes.

If I looked them in the eyes, they would know just how much pain I was in.

I couldn't have that.

I fell asleep on the bed 10 minutes later.

Kendall walked through the door at about 10 pm, two days later.

We locked eyes once before he looked away. He pointed at my fist and asked, "You alright?"

"Just peachy." I muttered back.

Kendall swallowed harshly and took the wrath from his mother, consisting of an hour lecture and 20 minute sobbing.

The next day, I didn't get out of bed.

Carlos asked me if I was ok, I only nodded and said I was sick.

I wasn't sick in the physical aspect. More in the love aspect.

Logan had come in and checked up on me. He said I had a fever.

Yay.

When he brought me a bowl of soup, he looked me in the eye and said, "Are you ok?"

_Stop asking if I'm ok, because I don't know how much longer I can lie to your face._

I looked away and nodded.

"James…" His tone was stern. It was the same tone my Dad had used when he was mad.

I cringed.

"James." His voice softened. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like that."

I only nodded trying to hold the tears in.

"I can tell something's wrong. Tell me."

I shook my head.

"I'll ask Kendall."

I stared at him coldly. "Be my fucking guest."

I got out of bed.

"Where are you going?"

"Bathroom."

I walked into the bedroom bathroom and locked the door. I couldn't have Logan walking in.

It was a good thing I planned ahead and wore a long sleeve shirt to bed. I couldn't have him seeing the bandages.

I got the blade out. My salvation. My friend.

I slashed my wrist.

Once.

Kendall hated me. He would never love me back.

Two.

I had seen that look on his face! Pure hatred and anger.

Three.

When he had gotten home, he didn't look too guilty. Maybe he pitied me, just like my Dad always said.

Four.

Maybe my Dad was right, no one liked me. They pitied me.

Five.

I hate pity.

I quickly cleaned the cuts and bandaged them up. I put the shirt on and flushed the toilet for effect. I then turned the faucet on, cleaning the sink, my blade, and the floor as the water ran. I shut it off and walked out the door to face Logan.

He was still holding the soup.

I took it, and quickly ate it while getting in bed again.

I handed it back. He left.

I just wallowed in my pain for the rest of the day.

I hated the fact, hated it, despised and detested it, that no matter how much Kendall would hurt me, no matter how much he hated me or pushed me away, I would always love him. How demented was that?

That true fucking love for you.

I hate myself.

**A/N:****How was that? I like this already! One of my favorites, for sure! I don't know why, but I'm enjoying writing in first person POV for James. :D Please, tell me how I did and REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**** Oh my God! So many reviews in so little time! Like, wow! I love you guys! So, here is another update because I'm bored and I'm listening to rock songs and yeah. I fell in love with the quote, though. It kinda inspired this whole fic and the title! XD I switch between tenses. I know. It's kinda on purpose. Thoughts are present, actions are past.**

Chapter 2:

It's been weeks since I had a good conversation with, well, everyone. Everybody was worried about me. I don't know why. I mean, so what if I was quiet? What's that got to do with anything?

Nothing.

Exactly.

It's been weeks since I actually said a word to Kendall.

We've started to avoid each other.

It's not that hard, considering what seeing him does to me.

His mom and the family think we fought.

I laughed when I heard it. Laughed sadistically. Made Logan think I had gone insane.

I probably have.

I mean, I cut myself. Isn't that some sort of psycho problem? More proof at how insane I am.

I have problems. At least I accept them.

Unlike some people. _Cough-_Kendall_-Cough._

And Logan, and Carlos.

Katie's accepted hers. She's a lot like me, actually. I like that about her. She's self-aware, neat, kind of insane, a bit evil, and tends to bottle up her emotions. She doesn't go to Kendall with her problems. She goes to me.

Yeah. I'm like her big brother.

I don't know about Mrs. Knight, though. She hasn't really accepted the fact that she doesn't socialize well.

Not the point, though.

Point is that they're worrying…about _me_.

I don't like people worrying about me. They tend to watch me closer, to analyze my body language, interpret it the right way so I have to lie and make them think they got it all wrong.

It's easier said than done.

And I know, from experience.

Lots and lots and lots of experience.

I've done it my whole life.

I'm a hopeless cause.

I know it, too.

So why do these people not see it also? Why do they have hope when it's just going to hurt you?

That's all that hope's ever done for me. Hurt me.

Look at the Kendall situation for example…

Why did I bring that up? I'm already feeling the need to reach for the blade, again.

God, it's no wonder I hate myself. I'm a pathetic fool hopelessly in love with his best friend who cuts himself. It doesn't surprise me, though.

It's the road my own father went down.

He fell in love, got rejected, started cutting, and committed suicide.

I hope I don't commit suicide. But it's the road I'm heading down.

I'm not scared of Death, anyway. Lucky for me, I got over my fear of Death at the age of ten.

It's raining outside. It's three am.

I'm still up. Why bother trying to fall asleep when you're a hopeless insomniac?

I haven't gotten a good amount of sleep in the past three weeks. It's normal for me. And yet, I still get hungry. I'm a boy, though, so what can I say?

I got up and went into the kitchen, searching the cabinets for my favorite night time snack.

Peanut butter sandwich.

I got out the bread and cut off the crusts, throwing them away. I quickly globbed on some peanut butter and smushed the two pieces together. I took a bight.

Kendall didn't love me back. He hated me. He avoids me, for crying out loud!

_ Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love._

I put down my half eaten sandwich. It no longer held its beautiful taste.

Instead, it tastes bland. Makes me lose my appetite.

I blame Kendall.

I blame him for a lot of my problems.

Probably because he's the _cause_ of a lot of my problems.

Why did he ever bother to be my friend? Why did he go over to that lonely kid in the corner just to say "Hi! Wanna be best friends?" Why did he have to cheer me on in every musical thing I did? Or in hockey? Why did he let me be captain in sophomore year? Why did he even want me to come with him to LA? Why?

Too many whys. It's making my head hurt.

Where's my blade?

I need the blade.

Or what about a knife?

That'll work.

There's some really sharp ones in that cabinet over there… sharp and ridged and screaming pain.

I need them.

Now.

I walk over and get one out. It's short and sharp and ridged and just _perfect_.

I'm fucked up in the head.

At least I know it.

Some people don't know it. I do.

My back hit the cabinet and I sunk lower, gripping the knife, muttering like a crazy person.

But I am one.

So I slashed my wrist. Once, Twice, Thrice.

The pain is leaving.

My thoughts are clearing up.

Thank God. I hate it when they get jumbled. They do that a lot.

Another sign that I'm crazy.

Four slashes, Five.

I smiled. This was what I'd been waiting to do all day. It feels nice.

Six. Seven.

My vision is getting blurry. I should stop. I do.

I wash off my wrist and knife. I put the knife back and rinse off any excess blood before heading back to the bathroom. I bandage my wrist and tug on a long sleeved shirt. I take a lot of precautions. I collapse on my bed.

I think I cut too much tonight.

My vision's really blurry.

I hope I wake up tomorrow.

Lucky for me, I do. It's noon. I've never slept this late. I probably just gained consciousness.

I go to the bathroom and rewrap my cuts. They bled a lot.

Mrs. Knight and Logan are in the kitchen when I walk in. Logan's looking at the knives and Mrs. Knight is looking at me.

"Did you come in here last night?"

I nod. "Couldn't sleep."

"Did you eat something?"

"I had some of a peanut butter sandwich. Lost my appetite, though.

She holds up the plate. There's a splatter of blood. I grimace and back away.

"I had cut my finger on the knife I used. I lost my appetite when I saw the blood. I don't like blood."

She nodded. She knew what my stepdad used to do to me. It was a convincing lie, though.

She just stroked my face. "You need to get more sleep."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"You barely eat anymore."

I looked away.

"And you and Kendall, best friends forever, quoted by Kendall himself at the age of fourteen, don't talk anymore."

I started to walk away. I couldn't take it. She brought Kendall into it.

"James, get back here." She spoke sternly.

I ignored her.

"James! Get your ass back here and don't walk away from an adult! We need to have a civil conversation because I'm worried about you-!"

I slammed the front door and continued walking.

I've gone mad. I've got major problems.

No one, and I mean no one, ever walks away from Mrs. Knight without expecting getting your ass kicked by her.

I just did that, though.

I'm in deep shit.

I just can't handle talking about Kendall. It hurts too much.

I felt someone grab my wrist. I hissed in pain as I was forced to turn around.

Logan.

"What the fuck, James?" Logan didn't swear a lot. It was serious when he did.

I still looked away with a scowl.

"Look me in the fucking eye and tell me that you sliced your finger on accident. Tell me you didn't use the sharpest knife in the cabinet to cut your sandwich. Tell me that you don't do what I think you do."

I looked him in the eye. "I sliced my finger on accident. I didn't use the sharpest knife in the cabinet. I didn't do what you think I did."

He slammed his fist against my chest. "That's bull shit, James, and you fucking know it!"

People were watching us. He hadn't let go of my wrist.

He dragged me towards the stairs and shut the door. "I know you're cutting, James. I saw the blood on the knife you thought you washed off. Stop lying."

"I'm not lying."

"Look me in the eye. Straight into my pupils and tell me. Tell me that you don't cut. Show me. Lift your sleeve up and show me."

I looked him in the eye. "I'm not lying." I pulled my right sleeve up. "I don't cut."

"Other sleeve."

I threw open the door and ran.

_Nice going, James. That just confirmed his suspicions._

He was the slowest runner in our group. It was a lost cause trying to catch me. He knew it, I knew it, and so he just stood at the door and screamed after me.

"You fucking liar! This is all going to backfire, you know! You're a piece of shit, trying to lie to us and get away with it! You asswipe! I can't fucking believe-!"

His mouth was covered by Carlos' hand. "What's wrong, Logie? I've never heard you cuss so much in your life. Why is James running away?"

I looked back. I was at the edge of the road and yet I could still hear them. Logan had turned to Carlos and hugged him. "James…James is cutting himself. I don't know why! We never did anything!" He gripped Carlos tighter as Carlos looked at me. His eyes were tearing up in pain. "He won't tell me anything. He's lying to everybody, Carlos! And I don't know why…I don't fucking know!"

Carlos sent me a glare. I only turned away and kept on walking. If I was lucky, a car would hit me. I would die instantly. If I was lucky, I could run away from everything. If I was lucky-

I wouldn't be here right now.

I'd be with Kendall.

That thought only made me run.

My feet pounding against the pavement, my shallow breathing. I'm so glad I started running daily. It really pays off when you're trying to run from your past.

It was working, too.

I made it to the beach in twenty minutes.

In my black jeans, black long sleeve shirt, black combat boots, and leather jacket.

_Nice beach wear, smart one._

Shut the fuck up, mind.

I just continued running along the beach road. I needed to get away. I saw it then.

The cliffs.

My salvation.

An instant pain remover.

Forever.

I was halfway there when I felt someone tackle me.

I saw a flash of blonde hair.

"James!" He shouted.

I tried to get away. I needed to die. I needed to get rid of him. He hated me.

"Stop moving and let me talk!"

I just fought harder.

"God damn it!" He shoved my head against the sidewalk. I stopped moving.

"Listen to me, you asshole!" Kendall growled.

He hated me.

"Cutting yourself isn't going to solve anything! You'll just turn out like your father!"

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

"Logan told me everything, James. That's the most he's ever sworn! He had a fucking panic attack because of you! Do you realize how long it's been since he's had a panic attack?"

Two years.

"Two fucking years! And it was due to your stupid actions! So what if I don't love you back? Doesn't mean you need to go act like your good-for-nothing suicidal father!"

That hurt. He doesn't see me talking about his dad like that.

I couldn't take this. Insulting my dad, me, my salvation…I needed to get away.

I pushed him off and finally spoke.

"You fucking idiot! That's my fucking father you're disgracing! And do you realize I've only said I love you once in my whole fucking lifetime? And it was to you? No! You don't realize it!" I punched him in the jaw. "I get it that you hate me! Doesn't mean you got to shove all my problems in my face! I already am aware of all of them!"

"If you're so aware, then why don't you fix them?" he growled.

He didn't try to deny hating me…

I motioned to the cliffs. "What do you think I was trying to do?"

"Committing suicide is going to fix nothing! If anything, it'll fuck up everything!"

"How?" I stepped closer to him.

"You want to know how?" He was in my face now.

"Yeah. Tell me how I'm so important in all your lives."

He growled before smashing his lips to mine.

**A/N:**** I did it! I finished! Took me forever to write! Cliffy! I was listening to Breaking Benjamin songs the whole time. They really know how to set my mind into angst. please, REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**** So many nice reviews! I love you all! XD Ahh…I can't get that couple moment between Kendall and James at the end of Big Time Break Up out of my head! :D I'm so glad you liked chapter two's surprising twist! Here's chapter three.**

Chapter 3: Kendall's POV.

_Why am I afraid to lose you when you're not even mine?_

Fuck.

I shouldn't have done that.

What was I thinking?

I couldn't let James kill himself, though.

I couldn't lose James.

I just couldn't.

He'd been there my whole life.

Life without him wouldn't be life.

It would be hell.

He's staring at me with that WTF face.

God, I fucked up.

"I'm sorry."

James rolled his eyes at me. "Sorry doesn't cut it anymore."

"I didn't mean-"

"So you kissed me just to make me believe I actually have some relevance?"

"James, I-"

"Did you just do that because you pity me or were you lying before?"

"God damn it, James! Let me finish a fucking sentence!"

He shut up. Finally.

"I don't know why I did that."

He rolled his eyes.

Thanks for the support, James.

"I…I can't lose you."

James looked down. He's finally taking it in.

"I don't know what the hell I'm feeling. All I know is that I can't lose you."

James looked up at me. His eyes looked tired and dead, his features looked worn. He looked like he was giving up on everything.

I stepped forward and took his face in my hands. "I need you in my life, James. I just need time to sort out my feelings…"

He pushed my hands away and spoke up.

"Love is when you feel giddy around the person you love, you feel the need to be the best you can be, but not perfect, because you know that they don't care about perfection. Love is where you're willing to do anything for that person. Live, die, kill. Anything. Love is pain and hurt, because every day they're not yours, you die inside. You want to know what you're feeling? Let me give you a hint. It's not love."

He turned and started walking back towards the Palm Woods.

I ran after him.

I couldn't let him leave my sight. I needed to make sure he was alright.

Was this love?

The need to care for him and fix him? Help him get better? This need to prove to him I could be there for him always? The need to hug him and kiss him until he murmurs those three words to me? This giddy feeling around him? The need to be my best? This pain in my chest for just now realizing it?

I loved James.

Oh my God.

I loved James.

I roughly grabbed his wrist, ignoring the visible wince that protruded his features, and turned him around and smashed my lips to his.

I was insane.

We all are, though.

Maybe I'm just more insane than everybody else.

It would explain a lot.

I think the same goes for Carlos, Logan, and the God that's kissing me.

Excuse me. I meant shoving me.

He shoved me off of him and wiped his mouth. "What the fuck, Kendall?"

The way he said my name sent shivers up and down my spine. He said it with hate…but there was that underlying love that was still there. Thank God.

"James, please…"

"What more do you want from me? You practically own my being!"

"And you have mine.

He looked confused and shocked. "…What?"

"James…I was lying before when I said I didn't love you back. I was being selfish and didn't want to get hurt."

His eyes softened.

"James…I love you."

I said it. Right here, on the sidewalk of California. With a small crowd watching us from the beach.

James looked down. "How can I know that you won't hurt me again?"

I sighed. "I promise I won't, James. You just need to trust me. I love you, with all my heart, and I will never intentionally hurt you."

James looked me in the eye. "I love you, too, Kendall."

I smiled and stepped forward, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him.

Finally.

I heard a small 'Aww' from the crowd as James wrapped his arms around my waist. I pulled back and stared into his hazel pools of mossy topaz. "James…I'm going to help you through this."

He frowned.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled the sleeve down, revealing the bandage.

I kissed it before looking up at him again. "You're going to get better."

He kissed my nose. "With your help."

I smiled and took his hand, letting the sleeves fall back over the bandages. We slowly started walking towards the Palm Woods again, smiling.

James' eyes were shining. They looked alive. He was still broken, but I was putting him back together. I was making him _James_ again.

I couldn't be happier.

So this is what love feels like.

Pain and anger and happiness and every other emotion ever all mashed into one and directed towards one person.

I love James.

I smiled as he led me inside the apartment, both of us sitting on the couch as I cuddled into his side.

God, he was warm.

That is, until Logan and Carlos came storming in.

"What the fuck was all that, James?"

Logan looked hurt. Carlos was pissed.

James looked away.

"You probably know what he was doing. I'm uh…I'm going to help him through it. Because I love him." I exhaled. "He needs his friends just as much as he needs his boyfriend."

Logan's mouth was agape as he looked between me and James, his eyes landing on our entwined hands.

Carlos' face immediately softened as he sat on the other side of James.

"James, we're going to help you. We're going to be here for you, ok?"

Logan could only nod numbly as Carlos spoke.

Tears were gathering in James' eyes.

"How could I ever deserve to have friends like you guys? I don't deserve you."

Carlos punched James' arm lightly. "You do. You're just going through a rough patch of life. We don't need to tell Mrs. Knight or Katie. We'll keep it between the four of us, ok? Because we're all brothers. Well, except you and Kendall. You're more." Carlos smiled at me.

I smiled back.

The four boys from Minnesota were back.

Leaning on each other's shoulders. Supporting each other.

Loving each other.

This was why I couldn't let James go. Without him, I wouldn't be me. We wouldn't be those four boys from Minnesota.

We would be three boys who lost someone important to them.

I would be the living dead.

James smiled wide and wrapped his arms around Carlos. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and Logan wrapped his arms around the three of us.

This is what friendship was.

We were all smiling and laughing as Carlos started to tear up. I think we all did.

We ended up sprawled out on the couch, watching sappy romance chick flicks.

James was lying across the couch on his side, I was in front of him, and he was spooning me into his heat. Logan was sitting on the other side of the couch, leaning against the arm cross legged, and the sleeping Carlos' head was in his lap.

It's these types of days I live for.

But I mostly live for James.

But you get my point.

James softly kissed my hair and I couldn't help but feel tired. He smiled against my ear and whispered, "I love you, Kendall."

I smiled and turned my head, capturing his lips with mine. "I love you, too, James."

I turned back around, letting my eyes droop as he tugged me closer. I smiled as the blackness engulfed my mind, letting a James filled sleep swallow me.

I was going to help James and be there for him. I was going to care for him and love him. I was going to help him get better. I was going to watch him grow and soften up to the world.

I was going to love him unconditionally for the rest of forever.

**A/N:**** Cheesy ending, I know! But this is it! It's been wonderful writing this! Thank you all! Please, REVIEW!**


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